...a tiny tour

Out my window..a gray day.

A little sprinkling of rain in the very dry CA. foothills.

What keeps me warm.

A gift.

A thought.

Self portrait.

On the wall.

A start.

In the cupboard.

A resting place...

Something to do...

She has something to say...

Inspiration....

A stack of inspiration....

My nest...

The Trickster...with wings
photo by artist joyce Wycoff.

Someone To Tell it To

Almost done..

My divine muse...

....breathe

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air,

 is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. 

~Erich Fromm 

What a weekend it was...snow, rain, hail, gale force winds, downed trees and 18 hours without power, which here means no water.  

But yesterday I stepped outside and noticed that like magic these lovely dandelions had appeared...

Have you ever had dandelion wine?

It is spring, and today is as lovely as yesterday..

.and when I step into the sun and look at the land turning green

 after such a long dry, very, very cold winter 

I feel like I can breathe again.  

I feel like the things that have held me in such deep doubt

 about the future are going to clear away. 

 Dreams will materialize or become something new.  

On this day I am reminded to breathe. 

 To stop holding my breathe...holding the stuff in....

Breathe...inhale the new, new hope for you, me, and the world...

Exhale all the thoughts and feelings and wants that no longer serve...

Breathe

Breathe in blessing that abound 

Exhale thoughts of lack or fear, thoughts that restrict...

I will breathe.

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?

 ~Mary Oliver  

Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God. 

 ~Krishnamacharya

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. 

 ~Andrea Boydston

A man who has to be convinced to act before he acts is not a man of action.  

You must act as you breathe.

~George Clemenceau

There is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. 

Then, there's another way: a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity. 

~Rumi

What art offers is space - a certain breathing room for the spirit. ~John Updike  

On the table...

Angels are all around us, all the time, in the very air we breathe. 

~Eileen Elias Freeman,

 

I want to give you this gift...a blog
Shine the Divine, Creativity is a Spiritual Practice..

It is a place I can't describe to you in words 

that will do the woman who shares her life with us  justice....

she is courage, heart and inspiration personified.

I hope you will go and read what she shares..

http://www.shinethedivinecreativityisaspiritualpractice.com/ 

...32 questions

Where does that fear come from that locks us in place?

What if today was a beginning and end?

What if we cut those ties that are so tight we have to remind ourselves to breathe?

What if we silenced those voices from within and without 
when they say, 
can't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't?

What if we release the pain that has become a comfort, and a safe place to hide?

What if stepped away from the judgement and disrespect of others?

What if we no longer let another's vision for us keep us from our authentic selves?
What if we stopped self-sabotaging?

What if we put our toxic waste in a box, tied it up tight with string
 and buried it for the last time? 

Finally.


 

What if we made room for the inspired?
What if stepped away from the path that no longer calls to us?

What if we painted the picture we want to step into?
and stepped into it barefooted?

What if we took our long buried dreams out from their hiding place
 and held them to the light?

What if we danced with them?

What if we embraced the gift of them...?

What if we believed?
What if we relaxed?

What if today was the day we pulled up the words from deep within
 and spoke our truth to one and all?
Or just one?
What if we honored ourselves?

What if we asked for what we need?

What if we reached out to each other in support?  

What if as a tribe we chased away loneliness and fear?

What if we embraced our true and loving hearts?

What if we forgave?

Not just them, but ourselves.
What if we loved unconditionally? 
Not just them, but us? 

What if we really stepped into life?

What if we chose to live?

What if I did it today?
And what if we don't?

...sex and the misogynists

I am aware there is a war against women's healthcare going on in this country...I'd heard the disrespect with which access to healthcare is joked about by men like Rick Santorum's backer Foster Freisstalking.  I heard him talk about the good old days when he said, ''You know, back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. Then gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly.''

But I had no idea the war had turned so unbelievably slimy until I heard Rush Limbaugh repeatedly attack the charactor of Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown law student who had testified before congress regarding a woman's right to contraceptives as a part of health insurance coverage. She was not asking for the government to pay for contraceptives, she wants employers and universities to offer health insurance that includes contraceptive coverage...

There is a growing movement to deny reproductive healthcare for women of every socioeconomic group even though access to birth control has a huge impact on state governments. A study by the Brookings Institute shows that every dollar Medcaid spends on expanding family planning programs save a a state $5.62 by reducing unintended pregnancies.   But nowhere in Flukes testimony did she discuss anything personal or even contraceptives for limiting unwanted pregnancies.....
She limited her testimony to contraceptives that are prescribed for things like excessive bleeding, debilitating cramps, cysts, irregular periods, etc..

Limbaugh..."So Miss Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal," he said. "If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch." 

Rush Limbaugh has a history of making misogynist remarks but I was still stunned when I watched and heard the 50 plus times he attacks Sandra Fluke.. It appears that today there are still many people who believe a woman who wants access to affordable reproductive care is a slut, a prostitute...that she wants to have.. "repeated, never-ending, as often as she wants it sex." That she is a slut for having sex, and a prostitute for wanting her insurance company to provide coverage for her birth control...

Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, was arrested not long after she opened the first birth control clinic 100 years ago...When the judge sentenced her he said that a woman did not have..''the right to copulate with a feeling of security that there will be no resulting conception.''  It seems that in we haven't come very far, when women are still being vilified for asking for the freedom to be in control of there own bodies.

Limbaugh..."What does it say about the college co-ed Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex?" Limbaugh asked on his show last Wednesday. "What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex, she can't afford the contraception. 
She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex."

Limbaugh.....''Folks, for all the hilarity that’s contained in what’s going on here . . .
here’s a woman exercising no self-control. 
The fact that she wants to have repeated, never-ending, as often as she wants it sex''

Rush's ugliness

http://youtu.be/q1oOjKQflN0

No matter where you fall on the issue his rabid attack on her is stunning...
jaw dropping...
not only because he obviously never listened to her testimony, 
but it seems his rage is caused by idea of a woman having consensual sex..
Might it be something he's never experienced?
These kind of attacks are about silencing women...
Who will want to speak up for women next...who dare?

Sandra Flukes response

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/video/sandra-fluke-interview-view-discusses-rush-limbaugh-apology-15850518

49% of large group health plans do not routinely cover birth control

97% of large group plans cover prescription drugs, but only 33% of those plans cover oral contraceptives, which are the most popular method of reversible female birth control in the country

A paltry 15% of large group plans cover the five most common forms of birth control: oral contraceptives, diaphragms, IUDs, Depo Provera, and Norplant

Women age 15-44 pay 68% more for out-of-pocket healthcare costs than their male counterparts, largely due to the cost of reproductive healthcare

\

...dream a little dream...or a BIG one!

Dreams  

They can be hard work, they require nurturing, and protection from naysayers.

I have a few dreams....not for cruises or diamonds. 
 Not for material wealth...
however having my physical needs met is important.

My dreams for myself revolve around my art, and my emotional needs.

They require attention and effort these dreams...

and constant cheerleading, positive thoughts...
and a willingness to step into them fully...
be all in....

and there must be the belief that they can actually come true.  
So many times I hear my little voice saying, ''what makes you think that is possible?''  ''you're not smart enough, determined enough, worthy, not creative enough, not....''

well you know....
let me not leave out the ole karmic debt...
Karma...
my voice often says I haven't paid near enough on my karmic debt...
or learned the lessons of the past....

And the voices of the naysayers often pick up when my own doubting inner voice takes a break...

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that what I want isn't realistic..
how I live in LaLa Land..

.....and I do admit to living there as much as possible.

I avoid the naysayer voices......
don't share much with them, even though some of those negative words come from the people closest to me...
the ones I want to share my dreams with as they come true.....
So I do my best to surround myself with people who believe, people who have their own dreams.  The ones who do think I'm smart and talented.   I let them help drown out those who just can't get past their narrow vision of what life can be....
those who believe what it is, is all that it can ever be...
the voices of the ones who are scared to step into their own dreams seem to be the loudest.

 And yes, there are times when I will start to think the voices are right and I should tamp down my dreams,
 or move on from them because they just aren't going to happen in this lifetime...
because I'm not smart enough, young enough, 
creative enough,
 lovable enough...
worthy.

I start to believe it when they say be happy with what you have...settle...be grateful.

 I understand wisdom of being grateful for what I have, the advice to stay in the moment. 

 I even practice both.  
Staying in the moment is one of the reasons I'm able to hold on to my dreams.  

When I am in the moment, and I am living bits of my dreams that have already manifested,
 the high is so good that I want more...

so I keep taking these tiny steps forward....
believing that the Universe has led me here, to this place in time for a reason.

The presumption, julie, at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been instilled with such dreams in the first place.

Love you, 

The Universe

There are no sane reasons to limit a dream, julie.

After all, you don't have to deliver it. I do. 

Faithfully, 

The Universe

Quotes from Tut.com


xo

....Owl

Beautiful...you will want to watch this full screen...

thank you Bettina..

"I am Owl,

Swift creature of the dark night,

Guardian of the Spirit's flight,

Herald of new direction,

Ancient wisdom in reflection,

Nature's shy and silent one,

Who sees beyond the setting sun,

I am Owl"

Thanks and love to Beth Owl, the author

http://www.dogwork.com/owfo8/

....#**X#@@*x|\@##+*!!

Face Book

I've been strongly encouraged by many of my artists friends to get a facebook page.

These friends are also working artists

They need to sell in order to continue doing what they love.

They have face book  pages.

And so do I.

In fact I have three of them.

One I want...so I know a little of what friends and family are doing..

as one of my daughters told me after I'd asked one too many questions about her life...

''if you want to know what I'm doing Mom, go to my FB page.''

geez

The second one is a fan page...

the one I should put art news on as well as pictures of my Spirit Figures..

and I want this one too.

The third?....that was a mistake...

I think I must have created it at 3 or 4 am and just don't remember doing it, 

why I would I since I already had two.

I'm thinking of facebook today because I know that I'm going to be strongly encouraged to get my fan page up and running again very soon.

And because I know it is something I really do need to do...

There are three things that seem to stand in my way of actually doing it though

1. I have password issues...

Very often it won't let me in..

There is a julie Micthell in Chico, CA. and facebook insists she is me and won't let me in because my password isn't her password, nor will it let me, find me. 

sigh

frustrating...we go round and round and  I give up.

2.  I can't get rid of the third mystery page.  There are people there wanting to be friends and I don't want to friend them to a page I'm not going to tend...so they hang there in limbo...ignored...makes me feel guilty.

And there seems to be no way to delete it and it's the one that I get taken to when I search myself trying to find the page I do want.

3. If I should somehow get lucky and break through to the page I like, I can't seem to find my fan page, and by then I'm just to bummed to do anything but read what others have posted.

I bought the book Facebook for Dummies, or maybe it was Facebook for Idiots...doesn't matter...and it seems that I am both an idiot and a dummy when it comes to this stuff.

Apparently the things I need to know are so basic they didn't even bother to mention it in the book.  Like how to delete a page.

I can't find the book now...it's somewhere where books I deem useless end up

.....and now I want it....but now FB has changed the layout..

I'm gathering courage to do this...

be a Facebooker.

I have to...I have to overcome this frustration.  I've stopped even trying to get in to see what that daughter of mine is really up too and I hate hearing it from people I know, who know both of us.....

lol

I should at least be in the loop

So wish me luck

I'm gathering courage.

and tips.

xo

impossible?

“I can’t believe THAT!” said Alice. 

Can’t you?” said the Queen in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.” 

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said, “one can’t believe impossible things.” 

I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!” 

― Lewis Carroll

...so you want to take walk?

For several curious reasons my sleep pattern has been sort of turned upside down.

I'm usually closing my eyes to sleep around 3 or 4 am and it's alright.

I like the night

I like the quiet

I like that my phone doesn't ring

I need around 6 hours sleep to feel rested, so I'm not what would be called an early morning riser.

But the other morning I got up early to walk with a friend.

We've been friends for a long time but rarely get to spend time together

So when the offer to meet and walk and do a little talking was made I couldn't say no 

I wanted to spend time.

We both had lot's to share since our last coming together.

I got up, bundled up, and headed to town were we would meet to get some coffee and pastries to take up to the lake where we would walk.

Three hours later we were saying good bye...

Feeling pretty good about life

We had solved all our problems as well as all the problems facing society today

Pretty cool, huh?

I love to walk and talk...

I'm not a big talker in the first place and I have a quiet voice that's sometimes not heard in a group.

I'm not big on sitting and talking either

I like to snuggle up and talk...you know, pillow talk

but my favorite way to talk about real stuff is while walking

Have you ever noticed how freeing it is...how the energy flows?

The right words come
How it's easier to listen.

How negativity can be diffused by the sight of a wildflower or a rock shining in the sun.

Have you noticed how nice it is to walk with a friend and feel the breeze.

Nice to sit down on a log together and just be silent.

Taking it in...nature

and the friendship.

Breathing together.

Good stuff.

xo

BERKELEY: Police search for suspects in city's first homicide...

I thought a lot about rather or not to tell you about this....

It isn't a very good story, in fact it sucks.

but I have questions

maybe you can answer

so here it is..

I was visiting my daughter jillian in Berkeley and we were with another friend on our way to an evening of shared spiritual readings.  I was looking forward to it as I had met the young hostess when she had just finished her 10 day silent meditation at a Vipassana Center  near here.  Her  light was just amazing, she glowed, and I wanted to spend time with her again...

We parked and got out of the car with our grocery bag of salads and such to contribute to the potluck dinner...it was dark but early evening...traffic..but not a lot..Berkeley is very quiet in the evenings...

as I closed the door on the passenger side I hear...

pop...pop..pop..pop..pop

I've been around guns most of my life, we live in the country..if that matters...

I knew the sound immediately...

Gun fire!

I turned in the direction of the shots...and saw a male figure about 100 feet or so away...not a good judge but across the street...I saw him pointing his arm in the direction of a house and I saw fire coming from the gun he was holding....

omg

this is real!

there was absolute silence and then more

pop, pop, pop

he's not done

at that moment a zillion thoughts went through my head...brain racing.

get the kids down

we need to get out of here

is this gang related

call 911

is there crossfire

is it random

did he see us 

we need to stay put

we were crouched between two cars

and everything slowed down

there was silence again

then a flurry of shots..10 - 15 fast

is he done

is he coming this way

pop, pop, pop, pop again

then silence 

then a final 3 shots and I knew...they were like the period at the end of a sentence..

pop pop........POP

and it was over.

Then the screaming began.

A woman crying....People started gathering on the sidewalk..

someone had seen him drive away 

a news report..

http://www.ktvu.com/videos/news/berkeley-police-search-for-suspects-in-citys-first/vFtS4/

We were on Emerson kitty corner of that A marker on at the corner of Shattuck Ave......

a major road through Berkeley...

Not a bad part of town...

working families, businesses..students 

The shooting itself took a long time

went on as we got out of the car

huddled between the cars

Jillian found her cell phone

made the 911 call

waited a long time for someone to answer

she told the dispatcher what was going on and answered a lot of questions

at the end  of the call and the shooting was still going on

the Shooter was fearless...I looked up over the car and watched him

he was not  at all afraid to take his time

stand there on the sidewalk in full view and kill someone...that was a huge scarey realization...

he had a gun and was fearless.

Cold

During that time while all those thoughts were going through my mind the biggest one was that I would have to shield jillian...protect her should he make his get-a-way in our direction

or maybe he was on a shooting spree...and I didn't know for sure there was only one of them...

I didn't know

but I did know he would have to shoot me first.

poor Brian was on his own.

and even though I felt a fear like no other...it was not the shaky fear like stage fright or almost being in a car accident...it was solid...and big...something that filled my torso...it actually expanded.....then stayed there.

I thought I could die...that we all could.

But it didn't feel like I was afraid of that.  Not scared.

maybe deep down I knew it wasn't my time.

or jillian's time

or Brian's

maybe it was sadness I felt...

I didn't want to be there...witness this violent act....

and maybe it was just the violent act itself that filled me.....

certainly you can't be witness to something like that and feel nothing.....

or maybe you can

I have told people about it...in Berkeley, and since I've been home.

A surprising number seemed to think it was nothing.

No surprise, no

"oh my God, you witnessed a murder...''

In some cases it could just be a lack of interest in me

but not in all...some of the people I told the story to are close to me.

I keep seeing his silhouette and the fire coming from his hand...

and thinking of the terror the people inside that house must have felt....

Wondering if there is a lesson here?

Wondering how that man knew he could stand there, out in the open and take his time killing a human being?

.....wondering if the people I talk to aren't surprised because violent death with a gun is so commonplace that it is almost expected???....

I wonder these things.......