CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

....your loving is a miracle

I've been in  a place of being close to tears a great percentage of the time....it's recent...last week or so...and it will pass.  Not just sad tears, or tears of loss...I thought of our twins the other day and my sweet daughter's pain...... I've cried for joyful things too...friendship, love, sunsets and a fawn I saw in the early morning hours....so many gifts.. I've been in one of those places when the connection with a true kindred spirit can allow me to open because I know they 'get' me....
emotion doesn't scare them....

 I've been told all my life that I am just too sensitive...
this mostly from well meaning family members....
as I child I would cry so hard during animal movies
 people would leave their seats to come and comfort me...


I'm not that free with where and when I cry now......
many, many people aren't comfortable with displays of emotion.... I spent much of my life trying to numb my too sensitive self....for yearsI tried to drink my feeling away... now sober and wiser I realize how important it is to have safe people and places to let those feelings out....the good stuff and the hard stuff.......
and my emotions have been on display these past few days...
and Saturday  night...
oh, Saturday night was so amazingly, lovingly, of the earth, magically.....emotional...
and so safe.

I attended a spoken word  performance/art show at one of the local galleries....
it was amazing...and so many friends where there.  I so wish I had some of the poetry to share here....they were wonderful enough to publish and share with the world....
.they were about human emotion....love, dying, letting go, making love, time, Buddha, nature, God...
 And so spiritual....not surprisingly since so many of the performers were my Positive Living Center family members.  The poems that touched me most were about letting go.....letting the river, the wind, move fear and loneliness and sorrow and expectation down and away to where ever the river flows.  

My sister/friend Sheyla touched me so deeply that the tears begain to flow almost without notice.  She is a minister at PLC...wise and beautiful...and her words went straight to my heart.  Our eyes met and she knew.  Later, during the intermission, she found me outside, put her hand on my heart and said, 'sweet julie,  too tender for the world'...
but she didn't mean it as a fault...but as a gift.... as an understanding....
Love...it is what makes the world go round.




the lovely goddess Claire Blotter...the muse for the event. She is an amazing spoken word performance artist who resides in the Bay Area.  This is the 3rd time I've seen her perform.


Artist/friend jon Bock...our host and one of the performers


Sheyla


The cast and artists..
Marie...two of the dancers/models, I apologize for not remembering their names, they are beautiful...Michael, joyce.....


joyce, Sheyla, jon, Claire, Kim, Ed, judy, David behind judy, Franka....
I don't know the man on the end, sorry.

Still high from the night of release and opening I got up Sunday morning and went to The Positive Living Center for a little more connection.

Our quantum physics speaker explained it all in 20 minutes...the power we have.  The energy that flows between us.  He spoke of the power of our thoughts and how when we come together with the same goals and project them with laser sharpened intensity things can't help but manifest.  He pointed out how time and time again scientist have tried to prove that we don't have this energy flowing between us and around us, and how time and time again they can't.

We have truly wonderful musicians show up at our Sunday gatherings and today one of the songs was
 'How Could Anyone?'

  

As joe sang and played his guitar we were asked to sing along and direct the words to the person sitting next to us.
Not being a singer, I decided to just take the hand of the woman sitting next to me...someone fairly new to plc, I don't know her well...but as our eyes met, her face changed and I could see that she was also holding back tears that need to be shed....
and I realized once again how important honest, heartfelt connection is to us all...
and how rarely we chance letting it happen.....indeed, even fight it....
What is that about anyway?

4 comments:

Joyce Wycoff said...

How beautiful ... and if the tears of the world flowed as easily as yours, there would be no war, no violence, and no greed. your loving is indeed a miracle.

Snowbrush said...

" I've been told all my life that I am just too sensitive..."

Me too, Julie. As a man, crying is even less cool, and I just hate it when people think I'm weak or that I'm having a breakdown when I know I'm neither of these things. Let's FEEL life together, shall we? After all, our time is so very short, dear.

Angela Recada said...

Ah dear Julie, how I wish I lived in California. . . I'm so glad you have found such wonderful connection with kindred spirits there.

This post is so beautiful, full of joy and wonder and love. I understand completely being "too" sensitive. For as long as I can remember, I am often on the verge of tears of joy and sorrow, too. It makes everyone I know uncomfortable.

What a beautiful world it would be, if more people were like the people you have described here.
xoxoxo

julie said...

You, all three of you, made me cry some more...lol...yes, let's feel...it is after all what this journey is supposed to be about, isn't it?
xoxox

Related Posts with Thumbnails