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.....completion anxiety




I've discovered I have completion anxiety...
Sounds like a sexual problem, but no....

It's this thing I do when a piece is not quite finished.
I procrastinate about getting that final little thing done so I can send a figure out into the world...be it adding some beads or securing a bone or feather...or maybe I just won't add the pendant or center piece even though I know exactly where everything will go...............

I do meet deadline.
However I'm often rushed as the 'show an tell' date approaches and
I must detach from a piece.
I have
COMPLETION ANXIETY!!!
It's a problem.


Once I pronounce a piece done it generally means it's time for judgment. The completed piece will be sent out into the world to be juried,
or sent out as part of a show...
or scariest of all if is a commissioned piece I have to deliver to a person who has asked me to create just for them....

scariest because they have a vision too


So what to do about this dread of judgment?

This letting go, detaching.
Because that is what it is about too,
detachment.

Letting go of something that I have put my heart and soul, and best vibes into...part of my heart.
Wanting the figure to touch someone more deeply than just surface viewing.


The other day one of my figures, Unity, sold out of Timberline.
The person who was sitting the gallery that day sent me this email after I'd inquired about recent sales so I could congratulate the artists...

Dear Julie --
I sent you a copy of the email because one of the pieces was yours, "Unity". I thought I had left a voice mail or some kind of message for you that you might want to bring down a replacement. It is going Fed Ex, to New Jersey and should arrive Saturday. The second piece was by Kathleen Mattox.
By the way, these folks came the previous day and had in mind some other pieces, including yours. They wavered and changed their minds on the other pieces, but never wavered on "Unity". They really loved it. They didn't even know where they wanted to place it on their wall, but the emotional connection was so strong, they said they would figure that out later.
Congratulations,

This is why I create....

making sales is a must if I'm to continue to do what I do...
but it's really about that connection....
it is what feeds me.
It's what I want.

It's visceral....

It goes with the floaty feeling when I'm in the zone.


So each time I finish a piece I want everyone to connect even though I do know that just isn't going to happen. Different Spirit Figures speak to different people.
So I guess when it comes right down to it, it's about ego, and my desire to please, and to have a figure touch someone in a way that is lasting.
Connection.
But it's also about detachment..
.letting go.



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4 comments:

Dubious said...

Yes. . . And when you think about it, everything we do here at some point is a "letting go," a blowing of the dandelion seeds into the wind, and whether anyone else catches and appreciates one of those seeds isn't always ours to know, yet when we send them out with love and when the very blowing is done with our unique energy and breath. . . It's an act of beauty. Thank you!

Deb said...

Julie, CONGRATULATIONS on the sale of Unity! It is a powerful piece as in all of your pieces.

This post says a lot of what is felt in me, about the creation of art. It is scary and sometimes draining to get it finished. An emotional process was all I could ever come up with to describe it. You've said it so well.

Sue said...

Julie,

I understand totally the 'completion anxiety' and imagine that most of us in the creation of a piece of work go through the same.

Congrats on your sale. It tends to validate one's work.

Carol said...

Julie ~ I tend to feel that my creations are like giving birth & rely on Kahil Gibran's book The Prophet & his quote something like this " they come through us not for us" & "letting go" is life.

Being in shows & galleries & selling my work, I found was like "hanging myself out for public viewing" ~ LOL ~

No longer feel that as I feel the creations "come through" the Great spirit ~ not mine to begin with ~

Congratulations ~ you are blessed and deserve to be ~ hugs and namaste, carol (artmusedog)

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