...turtle island

I sometimes feel like an alien creature

for which there is no earthly explanation

Sure I have human form

walking erect and opposing digits,

but my mind is upside down.

I feel like a run-on sentence

in a punctuation crazy world.

And I see the world around me

like a mad collective dream.

An endless stream of people

move like ants from the freeway

cell phones, pc's, and digital displays

"In Money We Trust,"

we'll find happiness

the prevailing attitude;

like a genetically modified irradiated Big Mac

is somehow symbolic of food.

Morality is legislated

prisons over-populated

religion is incorporated

the profit-motive has permeated all activity

we pay our government to let us park on the street

And war is the biggest money-maker of all

we all know missile envy only comes from being small.

Politicians and prostitutes

are comfortable together

I wonder if they talk about the strange change in the weather.

This government was founded by, of, and for the people

but everybody feels it

like a giant open sore

they don't represent us anymore

And blaming the President for the country's woes

is like yelling at a puppet

for the way it sings

Who's the man behind the curtain pulling the strings?

A billion people sitting watching their TV

in the room that they call living

but as for me

I see living as loving

and since there is no loving room

I sit on the grass under a tree

dreaming of the way things used to be

Pre-Industrial Revolution

which of course is before the rivers and oceans,

and skies were polluted

before Parkinson's, and mad cows

and all the convoluted cacophony of bad ideas

like skyscrapers, and tree paper, and earth rapers

like Monsanto and Dupont had their way

as they continue to today.

This was Pre-us

back when the buffalo roamed

and the Indian's home

was the forest, and God was nature

and heaven was here and now

Can you imagine clean water, food, and air

living in community with animals and people who care?

Do you dare to feel responsible for every dollar you lay down

are you going to make the rich man richer

or are you going to stand your ground

You say you want a revolution

a communal evolution

to be a part of the solution

maybe I'll be seeing you around.

—Woody Harrelson

....the Crone

"The Crone holds an unspeakable wisdom in the very cells of her body. 

The beauty and the horror of all life are held together in love. 

Being with her.... we begin to see everything from two sides--

the side that is totally in life, 

and the side that is already dwelling in disembodied soul. 

The Crone helps us hold the paradox."

--Marion Woodman--

Borrowed from the blog..

Maiden, Mother, and Crone

http://mxtodis123-maidenmotherandcrone.blogspot.com/

...what to do with all those questions

I want to ask you, as clearly as I can,

 to bear with patience all that is unresolved in your heart, 

and try to love the questions themselves, 

as if they were rooms yet to enter or books written in a foreign language. 

Don't dig for answers that can't be given you yet: you live them now. 

For everything must be lived. 

Live the questions now, 

perhaps then, someday, 

you will gradually, 

without noticing, 

live into the answer.

 ~Rainer Maria Rilke

...spring cleaning and a reading

I am cleaning up my studio after 5 weeks or so of creativity.

It taking me some time because I am not rushing through it.

I have treasures I had forgotten about...

and things that have gotten put on a shelf or under my futon, forgotten.

I came upon a little basket of faces that for one reason or another weren't speaking to me at time they got put away.

I feel a little bad about ignoring them for so long...

Little Spirit Figures want form.

This cleaning is part necessity...

no place left to set anything down and a floor full of danger to my feet and Shylee,

but it is also because it feels like spring here...time to shift gears...

and although we haven't had much rain we did have a cold, cold, winter.

I spent much of my time in my nest by the wood burner 

doing handwork and watching dvds.  

I've been in kind of a funk...feeling kind of stuck.

I've been letting the state of the world get me down.  Limit my view.

I've been letting others who have a more limited view of the world influence me.

The sun is shining and I love the warmth on my skin and the light.

Sunny spring like days...is there anything better?

So I am going through treasures and trash, deciding what to give away, toss or keep.

 I'm feeling stronger...

Letting go of old stuff.

and looking forward to new stuff...

in all the areas of my life.

The other morning I thought what perfect frame of mind to throw a few cards....see what the tarot had to say about my Spring.

So I asked,

"What can I look forward to during this time of beginnings?"

''What should I be aware of?''

''ready for''

 I focused

shuffled

cut 

and threw down three cards...

Judgement....Queen of Hearts/Cup.....Six of Wands

Of course I think of this card as me.

I am a heart person.

I have been considering matters of the heart, 

things that bring me peace and make me feel alive....

**

Judgement....

As a rule I don't even like the word....Judgement

This is a powerful card and some readers say it trumps all the others...

the Judgement card is about BIG things.

Are your days of sitting on the fence done? Have you found a reason to keep living? Are you feeling refreshed and looking forward to moving on? Has a casual interest turned into a dominating philosophy of life that you are pursuing as your true calling? Are you able to brush aside the ambiguities and obfuscations of the past and clarify exactly what it is you have been through? When the Judgment card arrives in your Tarot reading, it is time to take a stand as the hardest choices become obvious after the simplest of appraisals. 

I didn't throw the cards with the placement in mind...as in past, present or future, as 3 card spreads usually are... 

if that were the case this Judgement card would be in the past position...

and I look at it as a BIG judgement or agreement made in the past, to be or think in a certain way that might not be serving me or anyone else today...I think the Judgement card is asking me to settle my skitterish, busy brain down and look at what is I really want to vision for myself.  Where I want to put my energy...create a clear vision.

**

Six of Wands

Is a card of triumph and movement.

In the future position it often means one is going to succeed at something 

they will take great pride in.

It's about the pleasure of reaping rewards from something you have worked for.

**

I wanted a little more information so decided to throw one more card...

so I shuffled, and cut,

and threw out the Fool...

I happen to be a reader who thinks the fool is a good card...

but it does depend on circumstances.

In some decks the Fool is blindfolded as she/he starts out on a journey with few things to be encumbered by...The Fool may not have a clear idea of where the journey will take her but she has faith that all things will turn out as they should.....

the little dog is often seen as a protector, keeping the Fool from walking off a cliff...

getting this card feels good....and it isn't that life is easy...or decisions are easy... 
but there can be ease in my heart....
a certain knowing that I have what I need to start an new journey.  

As I was putting the deck to the side

The Ace of Hearts fell on the table...

Believing in synchronicity I decided that it was meant to be used in this spread.

The Ace of Hearts/Cup is all about love and if paired with the Judgment card it means that I will be making some important life decisions.

I going to interpret this reading that I am in heart mode and should be.  
That listening to my heart is always the best choice for me. 

I am taking a serious look at some decisions 
I've made that have left me playing small...
Looking again at some opportunities I haven't taken a serious look at because it was more comfortable not to...

and because I was putting a great deal of energy into things that I have no power or control over.

It's kind of like the AA mantra...the Serenity Prayer....

God grand me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

I feel like the Six of Wands is telling me to return my focus to my creative inspirations and that I will have continued success in that area, greater success.

Aces are gifts in the tarot and the Ace of Hearts is affirming that I will have the opportunity to make decisions about my future that will allow me to have continued success in my creative endeavors, and continue to have great love in my life....
 I believe I have the support of the Universe if I stay in my truth.


Happy, happy Spring to you....I hope all your decisions come with ease.


ox

If any of you are readers...tell me what you see..ok?

  

...a tiny tour

Out my window..a gray day.

A little sprinkling of rain in the very dry CA. foothills.

What keeps me warm.

A gift.

A thought.

Self portrait.

On the wall.

A start.

In the cupboard.

A resting place...

Something to do...

She has something to say...

Inspiration....

A stack of inspiration....

My nest...

The Trickster...with wings
photo by artist joyce Wycoff.

Someone To Tell it To

Almost done..

My divine muse...

....breathe

Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air,

 is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. 

~Erich Fromm 

What a weekend it was...snow, rain, hail, gale force winds, downed trees and 18 hours without power, which here means no water.  

But yesterday I stepped outside and noticed that like magic these lovely dandelions had appeared...

Have you ever had dandelion wine?

It is spring, and today is as lovely as yesterday..

.and when I step into the sun and look at the land turning green

 after such a long dry, very, very cold winter 

I feel like I can breathe again.  

I feel like the things that have held me in such deep doubt

 about the future are going to clear away. 

 Dreams will materialize or become something new.  

On this day I am reminded to breathe. 

 To stop holding my breathe...holding the stuff in....

Breathe...inhale the new, new hope for you, me, and the world...

Exhale all the thoughts and feelings and wants that no longer serve...

Breathe

Breathe in blessing that abound 

Exhale thoughts of lack or fear, thoughts that restrict...

I will breathe.

Listen, are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?

 ~Mary Oliver  

Smile, breathe and go slowly. ~Thich Nhat Hanh 

Inhale, and God approaches you. Hold the inhalation, and God remains with you. Exhale, and you approach God. Hold the exhalation, and surrender to God. 

 ~Krishnamacharya

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance. 

 ~Andrea Boydston

A man who has to be convinced to act before he acts is not a man of action.  

You must act as you breathe.

~George Clemenceau

There is one way of breathing that is shameful and constricted. 

Then, there's another way: a breath of love that takes you all the way to infinity. 

~Rumi

What art offers is space - a certain breathing room for the spirit. ~John Updike  

On the table...

Angels are all around us, all the time, in the very air we breathe. 

~Eileen Elias Freeman,

 

I want to give you this gift...a blog
Shine the Divine, Creativity is a Spiritual Practice..

It is a place I can't describe to you in words 

that will do the woman who shares her life with us  justice....

she is courage, heart and inspiration personified.

I hope you will go and read what she shares..

http://www.shinethedivinecreativityisaspiritualpractice.com/ 

...32 questions

Where does that fear come from that locks us in place?

What if today was a beginning and end?

What if we cut those ties that are so tight we have to remind ourselves to breathe?

What if we silenced those voices from within and without 
when they say, 
can't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't?

What if we release the pain that has become a comfort, and a safe place to hide?

What if stepped away from the judgement and disrespect of others?

What if we no longer let another's vision for us keep us from our authentic selves?
What if we stopped self-sabotaging?

What if we put our toxic waste in a box, tied it up tight with string
 and buried it for the last time? 

Finally.


 

What if we made room for the inspired?
What if stepped away from the path that no longer calls to us?

What if we painted the picture we want to step into?
and stepped into it barefooted?

What if we took our long buried dreams out from their hiding place
 and held them to the light?

What if we danced with them?

What if we embraced the gift of them...?

What if we believed?
What if we relaxed?

What if today was the day we pulled up the words from deep within
 and spoke our truth to one and all?
Or just one?
What if we honored ourselves?

What if we asked for what we need?

What if we reached out to each other in support?  

What if as a tribe we chased away loneliness and fear?

What if we embraced our true and loving hearts?

What if we forgave?

Not just them, but ourselves.
What if we loved unconditionally? 
Not just them, but us? 

What if we really stepped into life?

What if we chose to live?

What if I did it today?
And what if we don't?

...sex and the misogynists

I am aware there is a war against women's healthcare going on in this country...I'd heard the disrespect with which access to healthcare is joked about by men like Rick Santorum's backer Foster Freisstalking.  I heard him talk about the good old days when he said, ''You know, back in my day, they used Bayer Aspirin for contraception. Then gals put it between their knees, and it wasn't that costly.''

But I had no idea the war had turned so unbelievably slimy until I heard Rush Limbaugh repeatedly attack the charactor of Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown law student who had testified before congress regarding a woman's right to contraceptives as a part of health insurance coverage. She was not asking for the government to pay for contraceptives, she wants employers and universities to offer health insurance that includes contraceptive coverage...

There is a growing movement to deny reproductive healthcare for women of every socioeconomic group even though access to birth control has a huge impact on state governments. A study by the Brookings Institute shows that every dollar Medcaid spends on expanding family planning programs save a a state $5.62 by reducing unintended pregnancies.   But nowhere in Flukes testimony did she discuss anything personal or even contraceptives for limiting unwanted pregnancies.....
She limited her testimony to contraceptives that are prescribed for things like excessive bleeding, debilitating cramps, cysts, irregular periods, etc..

Limbaugh..."So Miss Fluke and the rest of you feminazis, here's the deal," he said. "If we are going to pay for your contraceptives and thus pay for you to have sex, we want something. We want you to post the videos online so we can all watch." 

Rush Limbaugh has a history of making misogynist remarks but I was still stunned when I watched and heard the 50 plus times he attacks Sandra Fluke.. It appears that today there are still many people who believe a woman who wants access to affordable reproductive care is a slut, a prostitute...that she wants to have.. "repeated, never-ending, as often as she wants it sex." That she is a slut for having sex, and a prostitute for wanting her insurance company to provide coverage for her birth control...

Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, was arrested not long after she opened the first birth control clinic 100 years ago...When the judge sentenced her he said that a woman did not have..''the right to copulate with a feeling of security that there will be no resulting conception.''  It seems that in we haven't come very far, when women are still being vilified for asking for the freedom to be in control of there own bodies.

Limbaugh..."What does it say about the college co-ed Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says she must be paid to have sex?" Limbaugh asked on his show last Wednesday. "What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex. She's having so much sex, she can't afford the contraception. 
She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex."

Limbaugh.....''Folks, for all the hilarity that’s contained in what’s going on here . . .
here’s a woman exercising no self-control. 
The fact that she wants to have repeated, never-ending, as often as she wants it sex''

Rush's ugliness

http://youtu.be/q1oOjKQflN0

No matter where you fall on the issue his rabid attack on her is stunning...
jaw dropping...
not only because he obviously never listened to her testimony, 
but it seems his rage is caused by idea of a woman having consensual sex..
Might it be something he's never experienced?
These kind of attacks are about silencing women...
Who will want to speak up for women next...who dare?

Sandra Flukes response

http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/video/sandra-fluke-interview-view-discusses-rush-limbaugh-apology-15850518

49% of large group health plans do not routinely cover birth control

97% of large group plans cover prescription drugs, but only 33% of those plans cover oral contraceptives, which are the most popular method of reversible female birth control in the country

A paltry 15% of large group plans cover the five most common forms of birth control: oral contraceptives, diaphragms, IUDs, Depo Provera, and Norplant

Women age 15-44 pay 68% more for out-of-pocket healthcare costs than their male counterparts, largely due to the cost of reproductive healthcare

\

...dream a little dream...or a BIG one!

Dreams  

They can be hard work, they require nurturing, and protection from naysayers.

I have a few dreams....not for cruises or diamonds. 
 Not for material wealth...
however having my physical needs met is important.

My dreams for myself revolve around my art, and my emotional needs.

They require attention and effort these dreams...

and constant cheerleading, positive thoughts...
and a willingness to step into them fully...
be all in....

and there must be the belief that they can actually come true.  
So many times I hear my little voice saying, ''what makes you think that is possible?''  ''you're not smart enough, determined enough, worthy, not creative enough, not....''

well you know....
let me not leave out the ole karmic debt...
Karma...
my voice often says I haven't paid near enough on my karmic debt...
or learned the lessons of the past....

And the voices of the naysayers often pick up when my own doubting inner voice takes a break...

I cannot tell you how many times I've heard that what I want isn't realistic..
how I live in LaLa Land..

.....and I do admit to living there as much as possible.

I avoid the naysayer voices......
don't share much with them, even though some of those negative words come from the people closest to me...
the ones I want to share my dreams with as they come true.....
So I do my best to surround myself with people who believe, people who have their own dreams.  The ones who do think I'm smart and talented.   I let them help drown out those who just can't get past their narrow vision of what life can be....
those who believe what it is, is all that it can ever be...
the voices of the ones who are scared to step into their own dreams seem to be the loudest.

 And yes, there are times when I will start to think the voices are right and I should tamp down my dreams,
 or move on from them because they just aren't going to happen in this lifetime...
because I'm not smart enough, young enough, 
creative enough,
 lovable enough...
worthy.

I start to believe it when they say be happy with what you have...settle...be grateful.

 I understand wisdom of being grateful for what I have, the advice to stay in the moment. 

 I even practice both.  
Staying in the moment is one of the reasons I'm able to hold on to my dreams.  

When I am in the moment, and I am living bits of my dreams that have already manifested,
 the high is so good that I want more...

so I keep taking these tiny steps forward....
believing that the Universe has led me here, to this place in time for a reason.

The presumption, julie, at all times and under all circumstances, should always be that you are good enough, worthy enough, and lovable enough. And that you are exactly the right kind of person, in the right place, at the right time. Otherwise, you wouldn't have been instilled with such dreams in the first place.

Love you, 

The Universe

There are no sane reasons to limit a dream, julie.

After all, you don't have to deliver it. I do. 

Faithfully, 

The Universe

Quotes from Tut.com


xo

....Owl

Beautiful...you will want to watch this full screen...

thank you Bettina..

"I am Owl,

Swift creature of the dark night,

Guardian of the Spirit's flight,

Herald of new direction,

Ancient wisdom in reflection,

Nature's shy and silent one,

Who sees beyond the setting sun,

I am Owl"

Thanks and love to Beth Owl, the author

http://www.dogwork.com/owfo8/