...things! what to do with all the things?

One of a collection of angels I have 'painted' by my artist and friend joanne Burgess...

After 9/11 our president asked us to go out and shop…

he told us to go out and buy things.  

Now, in what is labeled the Age of Austerity, that doesn’t seem like such a good idea…..

and for many not even a possibility.

Except for a brief period of time in the 70’s and 80’s when I embraced the American Dream of more is better, I’ve lived a pretty austere life, if austere means simple…

It isn’t that I don’t enjoy shopping and I enjoy things too…

it just that they don't give me a high .  

I think I have always believed the philosophy of travel light and keep it simple.  There was a time when I could get up and go with just my backpack and my cat Walter…

Walter was a very cool cat, he knew how to hitch-hike…

He lived with me on the beaches of Mexico and in a mountain top teepee near Tahoe.  

While we were together we called many small towns and large cities home…We didn’t need a lot of things and it was easy.  

And we made memories, Walter and me.

Walter...my traveling companion...

And as I sit here thinking about the freedom of having few possessions,  
I realize I have 30 years of things gathered around me….
I wonder where they all came from?  

I've gone from room to room…..looked at all the things…a lot of them are guilt things…

 guilt things are the things I bought but  didn’t really need, they were momentary wants…

guilt things are also the things someone has given me but they don’t speak to me, yet somehow it feels unloving to let go them…so here they are.…….

and clothes…I have 2 and ½  closets and 4 dressers filled with clothes.  I don’t wear most of them…but here they are cluttering my life.

I have a friend who lives in a wonderfilled home…

she has 50 years of  fine art and whimsy around her…

including years of family memorabilia…It was joyful to have her take me from room to room, telling me the stories of her things…

My friend truly enjoys her things…each one of them speaks to her….

they are not clutter or about guilt ..…

One day my friend got a letter from her bank offering to lower the mortgage payments on her home……she is a widow, and semi-retired,  it seemed like a good idea like a good idea to her, the program to help people stay in their homes…and she wanted to stay in her home.  

She filled out paper after paper…did everything asked of her by her bank and then she waited for her new improved loan….and was stunned when word came that They, the ones who hold the wealth of the world, had raised her payment beyond her capability to pay.    

She is moving, the bank will take her home..……

she will move to a much smaller place…far from here…she will have to part with , many of her beloved and beautiful things…Her things hold memories…they are the good things.

Lakshmi and Krishna tile...a gift

So many of the things around me hold no memories…..they are clutter. …

I mean really, I have a doughnut  maker, an ice cream maker, some kind of funny sandwich maker, a horrible to clean juicer,  none of which have seen the light of day in many years.  I have a bread maker in a guest room closet, with some of my clothes, and there are several unlabeled boxes in that closet.  I assume they have things in them…

but I don‘t know what, and apparently I haven‘t a use for them.  

And mingled among the mystery boxes are some of youngest daughters things and probably 100 record albums , you know music on vinyl.  

OMG, so many things….

it’s time to go beyond the occasional bag or two of things 

dropped off at the local thrift store…

it’s time to go through these things and find the ones that serve a purpose in my life, hold memories, or are beautiful….it’s time to let these thngs that don‘t serve go.

….and while I’m at it I can let go of those things that give me negative emotional hits

…..yes, I have some of those too.

My studio is another realm....

Luna

If I want to continue this artist path, I would have keep most everything in my studio…

The he things I use to create are there...everything there has a reason.…and many of the things I love and inspire me are there...

gifts from my friends, family, some favorite family photos, my music, books, movies…

still things, but things that are useful and loved.  

There are no guilt items in my studio…

they are things I carried in myself...opened the door too..

But still they are things...things keep us tied to our lives...

I enjoyed that freedom with Walter....

the not needing much ...

Doing the actual cleansing....well, that is a whole other issue..and in many ways it takes courage to look at all the things of a good part of a lifetime....evaluate them

but it is time to look at what needs to be gone in my life...feel the freedom of less...

and those things...

someone else might really value them.

....Empire of the Heart

....telling stories

The healing that can grow out of the simple act of telling our stories is often quite remarkable.  ~ Susan Wittig Albert What is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood. Audre Lorde Last night I sat at the table with my family listening to my daughter tell stories of her two month long journey in India.....She told about the poverty, the smell of burning garbage, begging and youthful entrepreneurs who saw her as money.  She told of the postal systems, arbitrary closures of the post offices and not having stamps for purchase, 'come back tomorrow.'  She told of the difficulty of trying to mail a small package from a village in the Himalayas.  Being told she needed to take it to the local tailor so he could sew a white cloth pouch around it and also make the correct address label, which also needed to be of white cloth and stitched to the pouch.     She told about being stranded in a small unknown town and how it is a little scary but how in this otherworldly land  she could afford a taxi to a safe hotel, which would not be the case had she been stranded in L.A.... and she told about her 'Goa Tattoo..a large circular scar from a burn she acquired while riding the  small  Honda motorbike she road each day and the varies medical advice she was given to keep her safe from infection...she told about the dull Indian boys and the beautiful ones.....she shared the magic of  buses that are decorated flags and bells, and how they play infectious music for the travelers... she told of hang-gliding and haggling... ...she told us about her new sister who traveled with her for a bit and there plans to meet again. As she spoke I saw a different young woman,....one who spoke of her love for a place so 'real'.... India in all it's chaos and glory and how she can't wait to return...  I saw her new self-confidence for having negotiated it alone...... she is braver in the world... I know her better through her stories, see her stronger.   I had a brief encounter with a woman selling jewelry at  our local 'Peddlers Faire'......She commented on my amber ring and told me how a friend of hers had actually found a very large piece of amber in Mexico and how it had an insect frozen in flight inside.  How her friend had been offered a lot of money for it....but won't part with it.  She told me that it felt magical to hold it.  I remarked that there is magic everywhere.  She agreed...and told me how she sees all that is wrong in the world but she stays hopeful that caring people can turn things around.  She told me how she is often called a Pollyanna...but how at the end of the day she has many reasons to smile... I told her how I am told I live in LaLa Land several times a month...and she took my hand and said, "I welcome all from LaLa Land" ...our eyes met and  we felt the connection of two hopefuls in the world. As I backed out of her booth to move on and join my friends, we folded our hands in prayer and honored our moment of connection with a small bow ....it happened that on that day I was feeling a little wary of  LaLa Land as a negative andI was lifted by the recognition of my sister tribeswoman.... Stories are everywhere, we all have them just waiting to be told. We journal and keep diaries.... Technology today makes it easier than ever to reach out and connect through blogs and social networking.... Pictures of family, friends and travels fly around the internet.... People are communicating as they never have before.....we long for stories that will shift us into connections with other humans. We are showing  who we are...finding our commonalities.... Stories allow us to step into another human's reality.  We learn from each others laughter and tears.  We don't have to agree..but we can but we can be respectful of our differences. Passing down of stories makes us stronger in the world... we feel our history and  when we do we understand better who we are... It is my hope that with our hearts inside our stories and in our listening,  we will find we have more in common than we imagined.  ...that mostly we all want the same things.. to walk tall in the world... held up by love of family and community,  .....to feel safe on this little blue miracle. I don't think we can have community without sharing our stories.... but we are telling, and at some point we will see each other as one tribe,  and maybe then we will no longer have the stomach to exploit the land and it's people, we won't accept war as the answer to every disagreement and manufactured fear.   We will find the peacemakers and give them voice... We will address the greed of a few who are destroying so many and so much. Let's tell our stories. "No one can lie, no one can hide anything,  when he looks directly into someone's eyes." Paulo Coelho "Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker.  When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging,  "intensely interested listening, our spirits expand." Sue Patton Thoele "The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the ordinary." Ralph Waldo Emerson

....going to Berkeley

http://www.liveoakparkfair.com/pages/preview.html

I'm happy and excited  to say I will be at this show with my Spirit Figures.  

This show is presented by jan Etre, who was the force behind the KPFA Arts and Crafts show I was part of in December.  I know this is going to be a lovely, fun, experience for exhibtors and visitors alike.  
There will be good food, good music,
 and the amazing art will be a feast for the eyes...

I hope you'll stop by and spend a little time...I'll be booth in #77 come and  see what me and my muse  have been up too..
Looking forward to seeing old friends and making new...xo

Mother

Dreamweaver..Inner Child...let her out!!

.Peace Seeds

...a sacred day?

It is Memorial Day weekend....

..Among my family and friends I haven't heard anyone express why Memorial Day was enacted way back in 1868....It was meant as a day for us to take a moment  and reflect on the men and women 
who have given their lives for our country. 

And I think we should include all the military who are wounded in ways we see and in those we don't....

I think during these times when the USA has approximately 1000 bases in 57 countries around the world  and is engaged in 3 wars, it might be time to turn Memorial Day into the sacred and solemn day it was meant to be.

6013 US military deaths in Iraq and Afghanistan and an estimated 320,000 with brain injuries..

Why?


is it really all for this?

 


....and if we can't come together to mourn the human cost of war....maybe the effects on our quality of life might get us up and protesting, 
demanding an end to war.
Infrastructures, education, medical care, food costs, homeownership, gas, are all taking hits as a direct result of our trillion dollar war bill.  The attempt to balance the budget will be done on the backs of those least able to endure it.
Our children and grandchildren will forever be paying for our folly and disconnect.  
Because of our apparent disregard for what is happening 'over there'.
Being the optimist that I tend to be I can't let go of my belief that there are many of us who don't believe these wars are to spread democracy or to help the countries we decide to bomb back to the stone age....or to even keep us safer....the USA is has become an Empire...all Empires fall...
 I believe many of us care and care deeply...
but we have to make our voices heard...

http://www.opefe.com/living.html

....osho and maturity

I wasn't going to pull a card tonight...but this one fell at my feet while I was adjusting a fan....It is a beautiful, beautiful card...I very nice one to have show up....

The distinction between the grasses and the blossoms is the same as between you not knowing that you are a buddha, and the moment you know that you are a buddha. In fact, there is no way to be otherwise. Buddha is completely blossomed, fully opened. His lotuses, his petals, have come to a completion.... Certainly, to be full of spring yourself is far more beautiful than the autumn dew falling on the lotus leaves. That is one of the most beautiful things to watch: when autumn dew falls on the lotus leaves and shine in the morning sun like real pearls. But of course it is a momentary experience. As the sun rises, the autumn dew starts evaporating.... This temporary beauty cannot be compared, certainly, with an eternal spring in your being. You look back as far as you can and it has always been there. You look forward as much as you can, and you will be surprised: it is your very being. Wherever you are it will be there, and the flowers will continue to shower on you. This is spiritual spring.

Osho No Mind: The Flowers of Eternity Chapter 5

Commentary:

This figure stands alone, silent and yet alert. The inner being is filled with flowers--that carry the quality of springtime and regenerate wherever he goes. This inner flowering and the wholeness that he feels affords the possibility of unlimited movement. He can move in any direction--within and without it makes no difference as his joy and and maturity cannot be diminished by externals. He has come to a time of centeredness and expansiveness--the white glow around the figure is his protection and his light. All of life's experiences have brought him to this time of perfection. When you draw this card, know well this moment carries a gift--for hard work well done. Your base is solid now and success and good fortune are yours for they are the outcome of what has already been experienced within.

....the butterflies are back

To make a wish come true,
whisper it to a Butterfly.
Upon these wings it will be taken to
heaven and granted, for they are the
messengers of the Great Spirit....

unknown

Know thyself! A maxim as pernicious as it is ugly. Whoever observes himself arrests his own development. A caterpillar who wanted to know itself well would never become a butterfly. 

Andre Gide

I watched two of these magical creatures meet and dance with each other straight up into the sky until they simple vanished...it was as if they had disappeared into heaven...perhaps taking my prayer with them?

I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man.

Chuang Tzu

And whether this happiness lasted a hundred seconds or ten minutes, it was so far removed from time that it resembled every other genuine happiness as completely as one fluttering blue lycaenid butterfly resembles another. 

Herman Hesse

"We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty."

Maya Angelou 

"How does one become a butterfly?" she asked. "You must want to fly so much that you are willing to give up being a caterpillar." 

Anonymous 

....dance to ecstasy?

I like electronic trance music because it has no lyrics...every once in a while there might be a phrase that pops up but they aren't emotional for me...the are simply phrases like "are you the dream or the dreamer"...or "thoughts cross over, thoughts cross back".  
There is no emotional hook for me in this music...no girlie hook, no memories hook.  
There is emotion, but it is the feeling of freedom, no hook...  It's a full body, in my body, takes me over kind of emotion.   


It's been almost one year since I went to my first trance dance gathering, featuring performers  who create different types of electronic music.  

Very loud electronic music....but that is part of the experience....actually being able to feel the vibration of sound.

These gathering are usually held far from "Civilization" 

because the music is loud and non-stop for most of 3 days.

It's like a heartbeat....
It is a spiritual experience when the dancers and the music become one with the beat.

..I don't why or how...but it got inside of me...the music, the dance, the people.

When I got home from that first gathering 
I borrowed a cd and started listening

and dancing in my studio...I'd dance all day with my muse.

Now, a year later, 
I realize it is a nightly ritual 
and I don't feel as good if for some reason I don't take the time to do it.


I light candles...turn on the music and begin to move...
and there are times when I just want to get out of my head..
But mostly it is a celebration....
the music and the movement speak to me somewhere outside my mind


The steps don't matter.
This dance in my studio is for me.
A reconnection with my body.


The tracks are long...10 minutes or so and I usually dance to 4 or 5...
each usually starting out slow....lulling me away from my everyday thoughts as I feel the music wash over me.  It is a wave of both letting go and a tension of feeling my body so fully.
In this kind of trance music everything builds...until it becomes primal...a chaos of sound that defies me to hold still...... begs me to partake in a frenzy of movement
Feet connected to the ground, but mind and body vibrating within another space.


Gabrielle Roth in the 'Maps to Ecstasy', says it is the rhythm of chaos in music that "is an announcement of creativity seeking form."
Maybe that is why my muse most always comes during dance


On the nights when I fully let go and enter the chaos there is always a release....and as the music slows I stay in that in-between, open and accepting place as long as I can, and I feel joyful, sure that the Universe and I were in sync for a time,
 both the dreamer and the dream.


....and so, I do it again, and again, and again....





http://youtu.be/ZMFFkCM07mw
http://youtu.be/FgrECWf0hgc

http://youtu.be/SxyYJxQH5nE

xo

....a shift

Do you ever wake up in the morning and just know something has changed?  Something you believed is no longer true?  

A vision that has been guiding you has transformed?  

That some how, without your permission or participation on a conscience level, a dream and reality have come together in a new form?  

Well, this morning I woke up knowing something has changed in side of me.  

I can't quite put my finger on what it is, or how this shift will will manifest in my life but I know that I am different today.  
Something that had edges has become smoother?  
Or the stone of  want or fear is dissolving?

....the creative dance

I was dancing the other night...in my little studio as I do most nights...it relaxes me and energizes me at the same time...

funny how that works.

I have Osho Zen cards on one of my altars and they called to me.  No question needed, just pull one..

I shuffled and picked one from the top....

CREATIVITY

Believing as I do that we are all creatives I want to share it with you,

It speaks so beautifully to the act of creating,

I was told by a friend that the significants of that card for me right now 

is a simple reminder of my path.

Not to allow life, with all it's ups and downs,

 to  distract me from what feeds my soul.  

Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity that you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach - how you look at things....

Not everybody can be a painter - and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live! And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. 

But everybody can be creative.

Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine. You become more divine as you become more creative.

All the religions of the world have said God is the creator. I don't know whether he is the creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So he must be the creator because people who have been creative have been closest to him. Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it - whatsoever it is!

Commentary:

From the alchemy of fire and water below to the divine light entering from above, the figure in this card is literally 'possessed by' the creative force. Really, the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy that fuels the birth of all things.

This energy has no form or structure, yet all the forms and structures come out of it. It makes no difference what particular form your creativity takes - it can be painting or singing, planting a garden or making a meal. The important thing is to be open to what wants to be expressed through you. Remember that we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.

Copyright © 2009 Osho International Foundation

.... let it go

Now the barren gives way to the blossom

if you but untie the limp strings of your torn and tender heart and let it go

the mountainous terrain of the past heaves and crumbles,
and in its stead, soft valleys arise in a series of gently rolling caresses,
if you but sink to your knees and assume the holy posture of acceptance
and let it go

the moment you allow yourself to be fully fed,
you acknowledge the depth of your lingering starvation
and you can let it go

the instant in which you agree to be wrapped in illuminative splendor,
you shed the chill that has held you in its icy grip through endless summers
and you can let it go

when you can meet the eyes of one who bears your true reflection
and not shrink from your own brilliance
(no matter how tarnished you believe it to be),
a glorious visage will greet you
and you will be shown all that was withheld from your gaze
since the onset of antiquity
so let it go

once your senses are awash in silent symphony,
you recognize how fervently you had come to rely on distraction,
the hollow ring of obfuscation forever fades
and you are gifted with the sustained and echoing tones of truth
so just let it go

once you bid farewell to your default resistance
and release it with kindness and grace,
you shake your head in astonishment
that you chose to carry it for so long
and yes, you let it go

there is a single moment in time
when you find yourself at peace with all that 

once brought deep grief
and you feel sorrow give way to an indeterminate joy,
your aching for authenticity subsides without notice
something inside opens ever so slightly,
and you enter the temple of divine consummation
where you are the lover and beloved and every act is born sacred and pure

and in that single, uncontainable moment
you know that love’s offering dwells within~
has waited patiently upon the doorstep
while you pointed yourself in another direction,
bemoaning its absence
and decrying the forsaking of your soul

til at last, with a sigh,
you simply let it go

Rachel Snyder 

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