... the other side of the bed

More Than Anything

...Joy and Sorrow are inseparable...
together they come..
 and when one sits alone with you...
remember  that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Kahil Gibran 

I work hard at positive thought.  
I am an admitted joy seeker.  It isn't that I avoid sorrow.  
I don't close my heart off so I won't be hurt. 
 I don't hide from deep experiences because 
I don't want the sorrow that may be a part of them.  

Somewhere inside of me 
I know the ones who say we have to have sorrow
 to appreciate joy are probably right.  
But I don't like it.  
I don't want to feel it for you...or for me...or for the world.
I don't want Sorrow.

Deep sorrow, when it comes, stops me in my tracks.  
I feel it in every part of my body....
the ache...
the tension of acceptance 

When I'm in the now with sorrow
I sometimes forget to breathe
Sometimes I just want to
  curl up and disappear...
to get out of my body.
Sometimes sorrow leaves me quickly and sometimes it lingers...

I don't like to cry and I don't like experiencing that primal howl 
that pushes its way out from deep inside.
 It's that....all of that, I don't want to feel.  

Really I simply want to gain the wisdom and compassion of deep sorrow 
without the ripping that comes with the howl.....
Please let me feel Joy without fearing Sorrow asleep
in the shadowy light that spreads across my bed...... me always  find my way back to knowing the world is a safe place
 to dream, and love, share, dance and hope...
let me trust that on some level everything is as it should be...
and that I am right where I need to be.


Snowbrush said...

"I know the ones who say we have to have sorrow to appreciate joy are probably right"

First off, I'm not sure that this is self-evidently true, but if it is, why do they think it's worthwhile to tell you? If it is self-evidentally true, then you already know it, but if it's not self-evidently true (as I would hold), then where is their proof, and why do they think the amount of sorrow we experience isn't excessive? As I see it, they miss the point and this causes them to lack sympathy for another's sorrow. They might as well tell a dieter that feeling hungry all the time will make him appreciate weight-loss.

I've noticed that you and I are entirely different in our approach to sorrow. I'm forever diving into it, trying to discover what's behind it, and you're forever trying to take the view that everything works for the good (or at least that everything--or almost everything--can be made to work for the good). I agree with Schopenhauer that life can be compared to a kind of hell, and that it's in our best interest to secure a room that is as removed as possible from the flames, and to afterwards content ourselves with the knowledge that we have done the most that we can do. You won't be surprised to be told that I agree with Schopenhauer, but by expressing such sentiments, I worry that you might see me as an unwanted anchor to your sailing ship.

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