...happy, happy, joy, joy

   

Happy is having someone buy a Spirit Figure….a call from Timberline saying, “one of your dolls just sold to a….”  Joy is when I am actually part of the experience…when I am there to connect with the person who has connected to one of my figures…..

Joy and happiness are different.

Happy can be faked….I often put on a happy face to go out into the world…and I suppose that is a good and acceptable thing to do.  Art shows and social events are an example of putting on a happy face.  Art shows can be hard, and I’m basically a hermit so social events can leave me drained.  But I’ve also discovered a time with my happy face on can lead to happy.  A rewarding experience…faking it can lead to real moments of happiness.

But joy, joy is different. For me it is a full body thing.
Not too very long ago I visited Yosemite Park….We went to Glacier Point….maybe you’ve been there?  

It is one of those places that brings me to tears, makes me shake a little…
I can feel Spirit from my nose to my toes.  
It brings me to a place of joy even as it makes me feel so small, insignificant in my petty worries and fears,moments of loneliness….it is a release.  
And somehow it is a filling up with love...joy…an invisible connection to all that is….A recognition that we are all in this together….humans seeking connection…it is connection that brings me joy.  

Joy is the connections with others on this crazy ride..
It is when the shield between us comes down.  


Isn't it what we are all seeking, rather or not we put it into words?  
Those moments when we look into each others eyes and see that they really see us?  And we can see them?  When the soul shines through and you know you are not alone.  When you feel that trust and love of knowing we have shared experiences of life and love.  When you know for however briefly that they have experienced the same hopes, dreams and fears, joy and sadness?  The times when we know we are more alike than separate?
When you feel each others hearts?
Trust and believe.
See their truth.

Lately I’ve been doing a little experiment…I’ve been looking into peoples eyes….when I walk down the street I try to make eye contact….it’s been interesting….Some people will look away quickly…if feels almost fearful.  Some people will look but not acknowledge any change…but then there are those people who will nod or smile and there is that momentary connect…’hey, fellow human, what a journey, huh?’….
it is a little moment of joy that almost makes me skip…

And this is part of the experiment too…I’ve started to really look at those people who serve me when I go about my day.  The ones that are often invisible to me.....he cashiers and waitresses, the clerks and the service people…I've been looking in their eyes and really asking, “How are you today?”  
It’s leading to some really interesting conversations…people want to share....and I'm finding some of these people aren't at all who I thought they were.

You might ask why this experiment?  Well it is interesting, and for someone as curious about so much it engages me.  
But on a bigger scale it is connection that I see so absent in the world.  
In my view we have become a world of US and Them and until this changes there will be no peace on earth….I need to start seeing the humanity in others…having those heart to heart, eye to eye moments more often…
it brings joy. little joys can fill me up....Make it easier to find my happy face.

....play, pray. love

You're never going to get to any final place. And so, we want to remind you to relax and start having fun on the way......Abraham

I've spent a great deal of the summer being self-absorbed...

trying to figure it out...

simplify...

I want this phase of my life to be gentle, balanced, creative and playful...

I don't do well with drama

I know so many women who are looking inside, in flux...

some on the verge of leaving a long standing relationship....

some trying to figure out what will feed their soul and incorporate it into their lives in a bigger way....

some ready to break out of the box that we often find ourselves in do to expectations...

some trying to simplify...

some learning to play again....we forget...

I think if someone asked me my spiritual philosophy right now

I would just say

to love and play

It's not that I'm unhappy with my life....

it isn't that easy....

I have so many blessings...

no question about that, I am often overwhelmed with gratitude....

I want a stronger connection with Spirit....with the Spirit in me

and that seems to bring me to a place of clearing out old patterns and beliefs that are no longer serving me and opening wider to all the possibilities....fearlessly

becoming more awake...

more giving....

playing more...it isn't all so serious...

more aware and much more disciplined in my spiritual practice....

and I get lazy about that...

and it is the most necessary practice for opening,

softening and experiencing more joy.....

and I have a very fertile imagination when it comes to what might be... don't misunderstand, I love my imaginings....but I also need to stay grounded and present....some of my imaginings take on a life of there own taking more energy than they should...oh my...so much work...so little time...

in joy....

“ memories flood in...
regrets tug in one direction...
joys tug in another...
how do you hold a lifetime in your hands?
and what do you do now?
maybe you do the only thing that
ever really mattered -
you love.
you offer love.
you give love.
you receive love.
you breathe love.
you live love.
you love. ”

~terri st. cloud

With love in you, your only need is to extend it.-- A Course in Miracles

from Eat Pray Love........

I keep remembering one of my Guru’s teachings about happiness. She says that people universally tend to think that happiness is a stroke of luck, something that will maybe descend upon you like fine weather if you’re fortunate enough. But that’s not how happiness works. Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it.

You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings…And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it, you must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it. If you don’t, you will leak away your innate contentment. It’s easy enough to pray when you’re in distress but continuing to pray even when your crisis has passed is like a sealing process, helping your soul hold tight to its good attainments.

On this day of your life, dear friend, I believe God wants you to know...

the time has come for you to nourish your soul...

When was the last time that you swam naked?

Or sang in the shower? Or blew bubbles?

Or held a puppy? Or kissed a baby?

Or made love all Sunday afternoon?

Or prayed really softly, not from need, but from love?

Has it been a while?

Then hurry. Do it.

Hurry.

This is life that is going by..

Neale Donald Walsch

....that darn inner voice

Choices

.......a woman's spirit-self is found in solitude, in recognizing the validity and truth of her own feeling values and that one's personhood is not found in safe conformity to outer values but in the darkness of personal discovery....

Sr. Christella Carbaugh

I think every now and then women......young, old, or in between

come to a place where something changes and we have to go within to understand what the change means and how to merge with it...even joyful change usually requires acceptance...

I have the choice of letting a shift become part of my journey,

or change courses then and there

...I can even den the shift has happened...

I know how to....deny...repress.....

smile when I want to cry

play nice, when even when it doesn't feel good

doing without thinking the things expected of me

deny my inner voice

even when it's screaming

I've come far enough to find joy in my life every day...this isn't about a good life or not so good life it's about being true to myself

I know I have to continue moving forward, I'm not done yet...change...oh my.

I can do a lot of things to keep that voice sounding far off and very small

Sometimes I can drown it out all together....

I can convince myself that fiction is fact....

and that fact is fiction.

Then something happens and burying that voice no longer works....

I have to look at my stuff..my life.

and that means going within to actively listen, to open

sounds simple..

it can take a long time

it means further emerging and merging with the essence of me...

hurts sometimes that stretching and unbending

letting my old soul speak

...and listening....

letting go of old scripts

allowing

looking at myself to see if I'm being true

because if I don't,

this thing, this change, this shift....this opportunity for growth...will just sit here...in me

...waiting serving no purpose and leave me feeling off balance....

getting 'in touch' also means crying...the ugly cry...the one that hurts

while it's breaking down that strong woman thing so I can really get in there and look...so I can listen to the woman in me who wants to be real and juicy...

and it can take a long time...or come in a quick flash...this hearing

and it means reaching out to friends who don't judge, but mirror back..

and then still tell me that I am lovable

or

I can look at it and shovel more stuff onto it...there is always that...lol

....Woman standing on a hillside, peering,

peering into blues space...

...what will woman be?

...not yet fully revealed

...but coming

...coming

...what will woman be?

judith Duerk

.....miracles abound

everyday blessings....too many to count...

......artistic disraction 2

Last week Daughter #1, Beloved Grandson and me made a trip across the big Valley to Santa Clara....On the way there we past a forest of these....each one about 5 - 6 foot tall and all smooshed together like a corn maze.....
At first I thought it was a giant milk thistle forest.
Then my brain came to life and I realized it was a forest of giant artichokes
...and bummer of bummers I had no camera.


I've seen artichoke groves
(I really don't know that they're called groves)
before, but never acres of giant ones.
On the return trip we stopped at the little fruit stand to buy fruit and to investigate...

Beloved Grandson and I decided to go into this amazing forest just far enough to 'feel it'. When we came out the owner of the forest was there and he came over to share with us that these giants were an experiment that went wrong while trying to create abigger, badder, better, artichoke....
seems it got big but has no 'meat'.
So they were allowing them to, 'go to seed
'....He offered BG one to take home and of course we both liked that idea....
thus the picture....
I think it's about 8 inches across! But no meat.


What this has to do with artistic distraction is probably clear......


Is writing about artichokes really interesting or important in any way? Am I just avoiding the trip to the studio?...which may not come today because it was been sooooo freaking hot!!


....once the temp goes over 100 here it is too much for the little air conditioner in
my studio to deal with...
My studio is not very well insulated and the lights are hot.
So an excuse to not go, or a good reason???



"There is always a slight tendency of the body to sabotage the attention of the mind by proving some distraction." Stephen Spender


I realize I can always find a distraction or reason to stay out of my studio...what I need to do is learn to overcome the thing (things) that trigger the NO I say when its time to do the work of creating.

I believe a big part of the studio anxiety, or whatever it might be called, is the desire not to just create something, but to create something that lives....
something that breathes and takes on a life of it's own.

I want my Spirit Figures to touch people, to be something worth loving. Something that becomes part of their journey.........
but first the process needs to turn me on, touch me, make me feel alive...make me
want to love it.
In creating a figure there might be 100 stops and starts, every time I allow a distraction
to take me from the work, I must start again...

a 100 time that I need to judge....
That stepping back and trying to see with other eyes.
I'll have been in the high zone, in the moment, making choices, appraising, changing, having fun and then
along comes the critic!

Sometimes with the attitude of,
'come on julie, what were you thinking?....
THEY will find out your not an artist and then what?"
I remember how long it took me to even say, "I'm an artist."

"Sure I have self-doubts. I just spent three days trying to paint a to-inch rock and thought maybe I'd be better off wrapping produce in a supermarket."....Maria Mijares

It's important here that I don't come across as whining about how hard it is......
I do love what I do.

Really it's more of an observation.
Me trying to get more in touch with the creative process.

I have a neck injury and once a week for the past 3 or so years I go to a massage therapist...
We often talk through the first 20 minutes or so, but I have come to trust her and the process so much that when she says,
'ok, it's time to relax, let everything go', I do and I'm gone into the zone.
That's what I want from the beginnings of the creative day...I want to trust the process so much that as soon as I say, 'ok, it's time to create, let everything else go'...I do it.



"The artistic impulse seems not to wish to produce finished work. It certainly deserts us halfway, after the idea is born; and if we go on, art is labor..." Clarence Day

......love

Hula Hoops have come a long way from when I was a kid...
and a champion Hula Hooper, they light up!
A couple of evenings ago, Daughters 1 & 2, Beloved Grandson, Wonderful Son-in-Law, Almost Son-in-Law-Now-Friend, all came for dinner. The house was lite up with love.
The energy that remains in the house has kept me on a Love High.

I feel filled with Spirit


I was given another boost on Sunday when I went to the Positive Living Center....
a Science of Mind gathering place...
There is a sign in the sanctuary
that says,

'Only Love Spoken Here',

and there is a real attempt to keep to it.
A person can't help but feel better after a Sunday gathering because we do try to send love out in every direction.
And it feels good knowing there is a Tribe of us out in the world who believe......
thoughts become things so choose good ones....
I believe this tends to make us cheerier and it trickles down.

I don't know if positive thoughts keep negative things at bay,
I do know when I spend more time with positive thoughts, I seem to notice more good than bad in my life.


"I have it on good authority that Spirit does not belong to any particular church, but resides in the deepest part of your very own heart every time you love."
from the book, The Simple Feeling on Being

Blessings

Well, I am feeling overwhelmed with the abundance in my life….not only did I have the best time visiting all the blogs involved in the OWOH event , I made new friends, found inspiration…AND I won two of the drawings!! I won a beautiful, colorful African themed cloth and a wonderful bundle of embellishments from Deb at Katura Greetings and from Spirit's Journey Designs I won one of Carols talking collages. I say talking because as soon as I saw it I could hear that little whisper of desire to have it here with me.

Deb at Katura Greetings is an artist extraordinaire…she does assemblage, fiber art, art dolls, stamping AND tutorials…so much talent…. Carol at Spirit's Journey Designs , is another artist blessed with humongous talent who does it all also …altered art, collage, AND free downloads….Their blogs are beautiful, inspired and inspirational. I feel blessed that some of their energy is coming my way!

….I’m feeling blessed with good mojo…thank you ladies for being part of owoh!!
Namaste, julie