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...in peace



She will heal you
go to her...

If you are ready
She will take you there...

''I bring the Earth,''  She says as she arrives at the party.
She is the M.C.
She is the most High
She is the Mother of Spirit.
She is the Tao.
She is the True voice of the Man
She is the embodiment of Earth, Heaven in form...

Cheyenne Harnandez

Cheyenne...a beautiful young woman has joined us in Circle..
I hope we have wisdom to share....
we the elders..
She does.


...it's very personal


The Personal is Political: The Transformative Power of Women’s Art,
Self Portrait: Trapped in Freedom by Andrea Harris

When I was 25 years old I was raped.
I fought back
My eyes were blackened
My lip was split
My ribs cracked and broken
My hair was ripped from my scalp
I thought he was going to kill me

Afterwards I was subjected to hours at the police department as I waited for a rape test to be administered.  they didn't take me to a hospital, a doctor came with a little black case, and a police woman stood watch.....and then they took pictures of my body.

I was sent home to wait for the justice system to do it's job.

I was given a lie detector test
I went before the grand jury
I had investigators hired by the rapists asking questions about my personal life and taking pictures of me as I went about my life.

then six months after the rape and beating I was called to the District Attorneys office.
He told me that I past the lie detector test, and that the Grand Jury wanted to go forward with a trial, but he was sorry to say his office had decided that I wasn't a good victim....
no one would believe it was a legitimate rape.

.


He asked me to understand I was a hippie chick who was living in a commune with a lot of other hippies, and under the same roof as my future husband...
and before that I had lived with a former boyfriend for 3 years...

The DA's office had judged me, and I just wasn't credible as a rape victim.
The DA told me I had suffered severe enough injury that they were going to charge the rapist with gross assault....it was a consolation prize.

I don't know if you can understand how confused and ashamed I felt....
I had been raped and beaten...
the experience would change me forever....
and the man behind desk, with a statue of justice behind him 
was telling me I wasn't a good enough rape victim to attempt justice for me.

This man had forced his penis into my body.  
There was sperm.
The problem seemed to be that the rapist was a business owner, a husband,
 a father of 6 kids, a church goer, 
belonged to the right clubs and had money.
And I was not a virgin.

He got probation and went back to his life...mine was changed forever.

Seven years later, I was watching late night news and heard his name.
He had raped, and beaten,
 and shot a woman to death before turning his gun on himself..

It took me years before I allowed the anger I felt over my rape to surface...
I had to do hard work and  a lot it to let go of feeling less then..
....forgiving

but forgiveness falters when I see us moving backwards as a country.....
when I hear the kind of things that politicians and 
religious leaders are saying about rape it makes me ill and angry.
Rape, any kind of rape, is a violent act with sex as the weapon.  
It has 
nothing to do with desire and everything to do with control and hate..
and doing harm. 
 I've felt it.  I know.  I was terrified....
and so many other women have felt that terror.

South Dakota's Republican Senator Bill Napolis spoke on an evening news show about his idea of a legitimate rape victim, one who might be eligible for an abortion under legislature he voted for...

"A real-life description to me would be a rape victim, brutally raped, savaged. The girl was a virgin. She was religious. She planned on saving her virginity until she was married. She was brutalized and raped, sodomized as bad as you can possibly make it, and is impregnated. I mean, that girl could be so messed up, physically and psychologically, that carrying that child could very well threaten her life."

Anything less than that is not illegitimate rape?
what message are young men and boys getting?

That kind of talk is scary to me.  

These men saying these things are misogynists and they are writing laws....
rewriting what rape is...
are we becoming a culture where  rape is sort ok?  
is this really a rape culture?

and of course money is involved.

an interesting read....




...do you want a hug?


I happen to belong to a hugging tribe.
We hug each other all the time.
Real hugs..
leaning into them
breathing
really feeling the hug
the loving energy
the vibe.

But sometimes it happens that I want a hug and no one is around..
it happened the other night
so I sent an email out to a friend
I said I would really like a hug
It was at 1 or 2 in the morning and I really didn't expect a response until much later
But Wham!
Only 15 minutes past and here came a hug 
a warm, ethereal, hug
I love the internet
and my friends
and
Here's one for you if you if you want one


Hugs make me feel good...


A hug is the shortest distance between friends. ~Author Unknown

Hugs make things better..the good and the bad.


I really should do this more often...
self hugging

Not too long ago I was watching an interview
 with author SARK, Susan Kennedy.
she said she hugged herself every morning and we should too..
then she promptly threw her arms around herself and started kissing
 her hands and arms, shoulders, and saying
I love you, I love you

I happened to be feeling less than lovable at that moment so I thought, why not?
I threw my arms around myself...
did a bit of kissing...
I really opened my heart to myself 
I said I love you..
and to my surprise I started crying, 
to my surprise it my hug felt so comforting, and nice, and kind...
who knew?

Hugs are good
even if self administered.
I think Leo Bascaglia said we need a minimum of a dozen a day..
hug, hug
xo



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